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TikTok’s ‘Bird Theory’ Trend Tests Partner Attentiveness, With Therapists Urging Caution

Experts describe the meme as a playful gauge of bids for connection, not a definitive relationship test.

Overview

  • Participants tell a partner about a real or invented bird sighting to see whether curiosity or follow-up questions appear.
  • USA TODAY reviewed clips showing that “passing” often involves questions or added commentary, while some partners offer little response without context.
  • Licensed counselor Vanessa Milagros says the appeal reflects a desire to feel seen and advises focusing on overall responsiveness rather than keeping score.
  • The coverage links the idea to research popularized by John Gottman on turning toward small bids for connection, with psychologist Alexandra Solomon warning that a single moment proves little.
  • The trend resurfaced in late October on TikTok, has been driven largely by women, and has drawn celebrity attention, including a video involving rapper Yung Gravy.