Overview
- The trend asks one partner to say “I saw a bird today” and gauges attentiveness by the other’s response, generating thousands of videos and massive views on TikTok.
- John and Julie Gottman linked the meme to their decades of work on bids for connection and said turning toward a bid can be as simple as a brief, positive acknowledgment.
- Their longitudinal research found couples who stayed married turned toward each other’s small bids about 86% of the time versus about 33% among couples who later divorced.
- Clinicians and coaches caution that a single reply is not diagnostic, urging people to look for patterns over time and consider context like stress or distraction.
- Experts recommend using the moment as a conversation starter rather than a covert test, with couples therapy suggested if missed bids become a persistent pattern.