Overview

• Now widely discussed on TikTok and in recent coverage, “Shrekking” refers to dating someone perceived as less attractive in hopes of kinder treatment.
• The term borrows from the Shrek–Princess Fiona pairing, yet coaches say the real-life dynamic often leaves people feeling hurt instead of valued.
• Dating coach Amy Chan warns that lowering standards based on looks can carry an emotional cost and does not secure better behavior.
• Relationship expert Emma Hathorn says appearance does not reveal character and that poor treatment should be a dealbreaker regardless of looks, noting the term may deter people from exploring beyond their usual type.
• Advisers urge daters to define non‑negotiables and assess values, respect, and emotional availability rather than reverting to only conventionally attractive partners.