Overview

• The term describes choosing a partner perceived as less physically attractive with the expectation of a softer, more considerate relationship.
• Many users now say they were “Shrekked,” reporting poor treatment despite dating down, a pattern dating coach Amy Chan flags as a common miscalculation.
• Relationship expert Emma Hathorn stresses that appearance does not reveal character and that unkind behavior should render someone unattractive, regardless of looks.
• Although the coinage is new, the behavior is long‑standing, and the phrase has surged across TikTok and international outlets from the United States to India.
• Guidance from experts urges daters to prioritize values, respect and emotional availability over looks, rather than retreating to only conventionally attractive partners or avoiding anyone outside their usual type.