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Molly Jong-Fast's 'How to Lose Your Mother' Chronicles Dementia Care and Identity

The memoir examines her struggle to define herself through caring for her mother during her dementia.

Erica Jong on the 30th anniversary of her seminal novel “Fear of Flying” at Stanford on May 3, 2004.
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Erica Jong, author of "Fear of Flying," at her daughter Molly Jong-Fast's 2000 book signing for "Normal Girl" in New York City. (Barbara Alper/Getty Images)
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Overview

  • Published on June 3 by Viking, the memoir recounts Jong-Fast’s shift to primary caregiver after Erica Jong’s 2023 dementia diagnosis and move to a Manhattan nursing home.
  • Jong-Fast explores her pursuit of independence from the shadow of her mother’s literary fame as she forges her own identity.
  • She frames her story within Generation X’s midlife challenges, highlighting caregiving burdens and cultural overshadowing by baby boomers.
  • The book offers a candid look at the “nepo baby” dynamic, acknowledging her inherited advantages while stressing the need for hard work and kindness.
  • The memoir intertwines her mother’s dementia and her husband’s cancer diagnosis without neatly resolving their emotional complexities.