Overview

• Stewart dismissed social‑media claims that the president had died, quipping that “Trump is alive” while adding that “something is up with his health.”
• He ribbed reporters for breathless speculation after a brief public absence, highlighting clips focused on swollen ankles, bruised hands and “lumpy” eyes.
• The White House’s stated diagnosis remains chronic venous insufficiency, with officials attributing the hand bruising to frequent handshakes combined with aspirin use.
• Framing the atmosphere around the presidency as a “Make‑A‑Wish kid” dynamic, he cited performative honors like an honorary U.S. Marshals badge, trophy access and calls for a Nobel Prize.
• He escalated the critique by invoking a Twilight Zone “cornfield” metaphor and pointed to coverage describing a recent Supreme Court decision as enabling ICE actions based on race or language.