Overview
- Gilbert recounts that she fully intended to kill Elias, describing plans to cause an overdose using sleeping pills or fentanyl patches.
- She writes that she also contemplated taking her own life by drowning during the same period.
- In the memoir, Gilbert says she facilitated Elias’s drug use, registering for clean needles and helping inject cocaine into her arms, legs, feet, and neck.
- Her account describes a 2017 spiral of co-dependence and frequent drug use, including mushrooms, MDMA, and cocaine that she funded after prescribed pain medications felt ineffective.
- Gilbert says she fled as the situation worsened, an ex-girlfriend cared for Elias in her final months, and Elias died on January 4, 2018, after achieving several weeks of sobriety; Gilbert now says she is in recovery.