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‘Bird Theory’ Returns on TikTok as a Simple Bird Sighting Becomes a Relationship Litmus Test

Experts say it reflects research on everyday bids for connection rather than a definitive pass–fail verdict.

Overview

  • Users prompt partners with lines like “I saw a bird today” to see whether they respond with curiosity, using the reaction as a quick read on attentiveness.
  • The trend has resurged in late October 2025, with Google Trends showing a spike and recent TikTok clips drawing millions of views, including posts by @royjeebiv and @donnyandserenity.
  • The meme traces back to an October 27, 2023 TikTok by Alyssa (@alyssacardib), which popularized the idea that small acknowledgments signal investment in a relationship.
  • The concept echoes John Gottman’s findings on “bids for connection,” including research showing couples who stayed together responded to bids about 86% of the time versus 33% among those who later divorced.
  • Clinicians caution that patterns matter more than a single clip, that hostile reactions are more concerning than a missed moment, and that posting private interactions should involve clear consent.